Earthblog

EVERYWHERE IT IS COLD – We all know the stock image of Old Man Winter as a venerable and frail old looking man with flowing robes perhaps, a huge staff (now, now) and a beard as long as the cold winter months.

However, that is all changing now as Old Man Winter has undergone a radical update to his image, tantamount to those reality TV shows where they spruce up people who surely need a good sprucing.

“I feel freaking fantastic,” Old Man Winter told FunnyNewz.com. “I mean I know I’m not any younger, but the Botox has me looking like I did 40,000 years ago. Plus, I lost the robes, went to Super Cuts and shelled out some money for some new digs at Abercrombie & Fitch. It’s a new me. A fresher and younger Old Man Winter.”

Old Man Winter said his new happier comportment is also the result of having less to do, mostly due to global warming.

“You know, having a little sunshine and mild temperatures during the winter is really not such a bad thing…. I used to hate mild winters… wanted them all to be severe white-outs… because that’s what I do…," he said. "However, that all changed when I bought my first car….. Even I hate to drive in the snow. You know, I think global warming may turn out to be not so bad after all.”