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Stories -
Sports
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Written by David J. Webb
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Thursday, 18 February 2010 17:00 |
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The FunnyNewz.com has it on lousy investigative reporting the Top 10 Things Tiger Woods Should Not Say At His Apology Press Conference this Friday. Without further delay:
10. "During my transgressions... I never once... putted from the rough!"
9. "It's the only time I have had consecutive 8s in a row."
8. "Well, on No. 3, the rough was cut very short... Almost non-existent."
7. "I am not a sex addict, I just work at it like, eh, I do my game."
6. "I wish to apologize to my fans for well, I don't know... Missing golf."
5. "Who says you can't get laid in plaid pants."
4. "I am deeply sorry I left a nine iron in the garage..."
3. "None of my balls were scuffed at any point in time."
2. "I wore a club head cover at all times."
And drum roll please...
1. "I am sponsoring a new tournament to help raise money for sex-addicts: The Transgressional*."
*Proceeds to benefit The Charlie Sheen foundation.
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